Reality is Cold
by Kryn Strife
Summary: Just a little short story I wrote based upon What A Fangirl Wishes Would Happen vs. What Would Actually Happen if she were to meet Loki. Purely for laughs. Reviews appreciated, but not necessary.
1. The Situation

Danika watched the city fall to pieces around her. Alien-like creatures were quite literally flying around Manhattan, and she wasn't sure whether or not she was dreaming. She'd just finished her shift at Starbucks and was on her way to her shabby apartment when the mayhem started. The only thing that could have made her day of dealing with nerdy guys hitting on her and a certain Asian woman that payed her in nickels any worse was this sort of global catastrophe. Brilliant.

Now she was looking out the window of some guy's apartment because he thought he would try to play the hero and give her a place to take cover. Naturally, she had insisted she would be fine on her own, but after almost being smashed by a chunk of building, she opted to allow the dude to be chivalrous.

After denying a cup of coffee – she didn't want to risk being drugged by some stranger – she crept to the living room, and when she was sure she was no longer in the guy's line of sight, she silently slid the screen door to the balcony open and stepped out. Sure, it was extremely dangerous, and she could easily get shot by one of the alien invaders, but she needed to see what things looked like on the streets.

Peeking over the edge of the balcony railing, she could make out what looked like a walking American flag fighting with the aliens. Confused, she leaned farther over the edge to get a better look, but this caused her to lose her footing, and she fell from the balcony, tumbling to what would surely be her death. Her life flashed before her, and she screamed as she plummeted to the ground.

Then by some stroke of luck, she managed to land on one of the alien crafts. Catching her breath, she looked up to see not an ugly creature, but a rather handsome man clad in leather and metal and a rather silly looking helmet. While she was looking him over, he turned to face her. His green eyes narrowed in annoyance, and his mouth curved into a scowl…

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**Okay guys, so now what you do is go to the WAFWWH (What A Fangirl Wishes Would Happen), read it, then follow it with the WWAH (What Would Actually Happen). I promise you this is just for giggles, so before you go getting all defensive about Loki, just know that I love him just as much as the next fangirl (and I would actually be one of the ones who would wish the next chapter happened to me...if that made sense...), I just thought it would be funny to write this, so here it is. If I get a positive response, I may turn his into a little series of all my favorite fandoms and characters, but we'll see. ANYWHO! Enjoy ;)**


	2. WAFWWH

_His green eyes narrowed in annoyance, and his mouth curved into a scowl…_

**What a Fangirl Wishes Would Happen:**

"How did you get here, mortal girl?" he said coldly.

Danika didn't know what to say. His hostility stunned her, and she found herself searching for her voice. When she couldn't find it, he spoke again.

"I asked you a question, girl!" This time his voice had more volume, causing Danika to flinch.

"I fell," she said meekly. At this, he scoffed.

"I wouldn't expect any less from a Midgardian," he stated smoothly. He turned to the alien that was manning the aircraft. "Land. Now." he said with authority. The creature did as it was told and stopped on top of the building adjacent to Stark Tower, let its apparent leader and Danika off, and then flew away. This left Danika and the massive man – she could now see he was extremely tall – alone on the roof of the skyscraper.

The man smirked at Danika and walked towards her, causing her to back up. He raised an eyebrow at this and cocked his head to the side.

"Do I intimidate you?" he asked amusedly. When Danika didn't answer, he chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes."

She swallowed hard and tried not to tremble. Again, he advanced on her, and she began to step backwards.

"I promise I will not harm you, Midgardian," he said. Danika's eyebrows met in confusion.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" she asked. He only grinned.

"What would you prefer to be called?"

"Well, you could call me Danika," she said with a little more confidence than she expected.

Now he was showing teeth in a cynical smile. "Well then, Danika," he said, "that's what I shall call you. You may refer to myself as Loki." Then he laughed. "Or you may call me Your Highness, since I will have dominion over this world soon enough."

Danika's eyes widened. "Loki?" she sputtered. "As in the Loki from the television? On the news?"

He merely stared at her. "I do not know of this television of which you speak, but I can imagine that I am news." Danika couldn't help but chuckle, earning an eyebrow raise from Loki.

"I don't suppose you would know what a TV was," she said. He shook off her comment.

"Well, Miss Danika, I cannot believe that you dropping from the sky was a mere coincidence. I believe fate has intervened here."

Danika just looked at him, confused by where he was going with all this. He walked in her direction a third time, and this time she stayed put.

"It seems to me that you dropped on me for a purpose." He was only about two feet away from her now, and he had to look down to speak to her. "Perhaps that purpose," now the gap between them was gone, and he pushed a lock of her brown hair behind her ear, "is to serve me as my Queen."

Danika's eyes widened, and before she knew what was happening, Loki's lips were crushed against hers. She whimpered first, but when he softened the kiss, she found herself shutting her eyes and kissing him back. Finally he pulled away, smiling down at her.

"Perfect," he said before turning and walking away from her. She was quick to follow.

"Wait," she exclaimed, placing a hand on his shoulder. He turned towards her again.

"I must go," he said. "I have a planet to conquer." Placing a quick peck on her lips and shooting a wink in her direction, he leapt from the building, landing gracefully on one of the alien pods, and leaving a very unsettled Danika on the roof.

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**Continue on to the WWAH (What Would Actually Happen) chapter for some laughs...**


	3. WWAH

_His green eyes narrowed in annoyance, and his mouth curved into a scowl…_**  
**

**What Would Actually Happen:**

He pointed his spear at her, projecting a blue light that shot her off the craft and again soaring through the sky. He rolled his eyes as he listened to her screams.

"Filthy mortals," he muttered under his breath. Then he again focused his attention on conquering the humans.

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**And there you have it folks! As Jenna Marbles once said, "It was in my brain, and now it's on the Internet..." I hope you thought this was kinda funny and that you don't totally hate me...**


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